drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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