Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
