i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
