Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
