physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
