i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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