So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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