no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize