I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize