If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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