matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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