She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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