How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
