dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
