one might say we're banned from that church
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He passed out mid-signature
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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