Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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