I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
