pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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