I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
...so i touched it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
