worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
