Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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