Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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