i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
