If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
