I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
