I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
