Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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