i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
