Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
