one might say we're banned from that church
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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