it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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