____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
