It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
