He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
