coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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