i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
