i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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