I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
