Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
