Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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