i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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