i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
