i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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