East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I want to have your abortion
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
