why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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