Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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