What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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