You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
