Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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