in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The beer is more important than you right now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
