I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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