Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
