i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
