YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
