just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
