Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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